CHOOSING SIDES

Trevor Noah Revels in Trump-Bannon War: ‘It’s Like Alien vs. Sexual Predator’

‘The Daily Show’ host has no idea who to root for in the fight between Donald Trump and Steve Bannon.

Comedy Central

The war between President Donald Trump and Steve Bannon completely consumed the political media on Wednesday—and Trevor Noah was all over it tonight.

The Daily Show host dedicated his first segment to the many revelations that have emerged from Michael Wolff’s upcoming book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, beginning with the assertion that no one in the Trump camp thought he would win the election.

“Remember Steve Bannon?” Noah asked Wednesday night, before sharing the excerpt of the new book in which Trump’s former chief strategist says that he believes Donald Trump Jr.’s meeting with Russian officials in the summer of 2016 was “treasonous.”

“Whoa! Don Jr. is going to ‘crack like an egg?’” Noah said, quoting another of Bannon’s incendiary lines in the book and suggesting that the reptilian Breitbart chief only eats his eggs whole. “I don’t even know if that’s a metaphor. Like, I think there’s at least a fifty percent chance you’d find a yoke where a brain’s supposed to be.”

“Steve Bannon, Trump’s dude, not only accused Trump’s second dumbest son of collusion, but he’s also accusing the president of being in on it, and lying to the American people about it,” the host continued. “You know what that means, people? Buckle up, because Trump’s about to blow!”

In response to the president’s particularly aggressive statement denouncing Bannon, Noah said, “Ohhh, damn! I didn’t even know presidents could release diss tracks!”

“Imagine being told by Donald Trump that you’ve lost your mind,” he added. “It’s like Cinnabon telling you that you look like a dirty asshole.”

The hardest thing about covering this story for Noah was that he couldn’t figure out who he should be rooting for. “Steve Bannon beefing with Donald Trump? It’s like Alien vs. Sexual Predator. Who do you go with?”

“This is the first time that a member of Trump’s inner circle is saying that this Trump-Russia collusion story is as bad as it seems,” Noah concluded. “So Bannon, here’s to you, my friend. May you feast on whole eggs tonight as you grow the beard that you just shaved.”