The big news from across the pond Wednesday concerned the British royal family—no, not Prince Andrew’s creepy shenanigans with Jeffrey Epstein, but rather Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to “step back” from royal duties.
In a statement posted on Instagram—that blindsided many senior members of the royal family, as it were—the Duke and Duchess of Sussex declared that they “intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent,” and would be dividing their time between the U.K. and North America.
“Whoa! This is huge!” exclaimed The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah. “Harry and Meghan are leaving the palace to become financially independent! You see, this is what happens when you bring the first black woman into the royal family. She looked at Harry and was like, ‘N*gga, you need to get a job! You need a job! You a grown-ass man, you can’t still be living in your mama’s house, Harry!’”
Noah couldn’t contain his laughter: “What’s funny is that, no matter what job Prince Harry gets, you realize that he’s still gonna be Prince Harry. Can you imagine being his boss when he screws up? What do you call him in and say? ‘Prince Harry, get in here, Your Majesty! You blew the Henderson account, my lord, clean out your desk…and may God save the Queen!’”
While some have predicted that they’ll move to Canada—given the vagueness of the “North America” line—Noah thinks the Meghxit will take the uber-famous couple to Markle’s home of Los Angeles, California.
“I think they’ll move to L.A., because Meghan’s an actor and she’s gonna want to work again, and then Harry can just join the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” cracked Noah. “He’s gonna be fighting on TV: ‘I know what you said about me, Denise! Say it to my face!’”