EMPTY CHAIRS, EMPTY TABLES

Trump, 79, Rushes to Brag About Poorly Attended Rally

The president ran to Truth Social to praise the “amazing” crowd at his final rally of 2025, despite reports that many found other ways to spend their Friday night.

Donald Trump went on an online midnight ramble after failing to draw a major crowd for a North Carolina rally Friday night.

The president has been back on the campaign trail to ramp up support for the 2026 midterms—where MAGA odds aren’t looking great. Evidence of Trump’s plummeting approval rating was reflected in his inability to fill seats with adoring supporters at his last rally of the year in Rocky Mount, North Carolina.

Keen to rewrite the history of the event as soon as possible, Trump wrote on Truth Social early on Saturday morning: “Just leaving North Carolina, where the Crowd was amazing!”

He added, “They will hopefully be voting for Michael Whatley, to be the next Senator. His opponent, former Governor Roy Cooper, is a Radical Left Lunatic who let the people of North Carolina down, especially in time of need.”

The MAGA leader then assured his readers that low drug prices “alone should win the Midterms for Republicans!” before veering away from politics to praise Jake Paul for trying his best in a boxing match against “a very talented and large Anthony Joshua.”

While Trump painted a pretty picture of his rally, a report from the Washington Post suggested otherwise. The paper detailed the smaller-than-average crowd, punctuated by cash-strapped attendees who couldn’t afford any MAGA merch.

Sadly for a Trump merch seller outside the venue, the president’s supporters didn’t want to spend their tight funds on MAGA-themed stocking fillers.

“Usually, Trump rallies are like a football tailgate. This is strange,” the seller told the Post as he packed up his unsold wares on the quiet street before the speech kicked off.

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Although Trump may have been playing to a smaller crowd than usual, those who did spend the final Friday before Christmas in attendance were treated to a meandering performance covering everything from the “not easy” cognitive tests he’s mysteriously been taking to the way Melania stores her underwear.

Complaining about how the FBI rifled through the First Lady’s closets and drawers during their 2022 raid of Mar-a-Lago, the president added some unusual details about her housekeeping skills.

“She’s a very meticulous person... Everything is perfect. Her undergarments, sometimes referred to as panties, are folded perfect, wrapped, they’re like so perfect. I say, ‘That’s beautiful,’” he shared.

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