Zero Dark Thirty, a pulsing account of the manhunt for Osama bin Laden from the point of view of the unflinching CIA agent (Jessica Chastain) who led the search, has been called “breathlessly tense,” “intellectually complex,” and “relentlessly dramatic.” It is also, apparently, hilarious.
Since its release at the end of 2012, the Kathryn Bigelow-directed flick has proven prime fodder for parody, peaking this week with clever spoofs involving Lena Dunham and Jimmy Kimmel. (Ever imagine what the film would’ve been like with the Girls star in the lead, or as a romantic comedy instead of an intense thriller?) So while Zero Dark Thirty made may have lost the Best Picture Oscar to Argo, it’s clearly trumping Ben Affleck’s drama in the comedy game. Here, the best of Zero Dark Parody.
Lena Dunham’s Audition for ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
What if cupcake enthusiast and veritable glass case of emotions Hannah Horvath from Girls played the central role, Maya, in Zero Dark Thirty? Comedian Chelsea Davison offers a hint, channeling Girls star Lena Dunham for an uncanny look at what it would it would’ve been like if the actress had actually auditioned for Chastain’s part in the film. No Dunham mannerism or tick escapes Davison’s spoofing, including her unrivaled willingness to shed her clothes—at one point Davison-as-Dunham begins unbuttoning her blouse, forcing the off-camera auditioner to clarify, “No. You strip the prisoner.” Voice of our generation, indeed.
Zero Dark Flirty
Zero Dark Thirty was interesting and all, but did you wonder why everything had to be so… serious? Jimmy Kimmel has your back, with a remix of the film that swaps its heart-pounding tone for something more… heartwarming. What can we expect in Zero Dark Flirty? “Maya was a workaholic career girl who couldn’t find the man of her dreams, but she never gave up hope that he was out there…”
Zero Dark Fiddy
When rapper 50 Cent is put in charge of the bin Laden hunt in Jimmy Kimmel’s second Zero Dark Thirty parody, the debate shifts from “where is bin Laden hiding” to “how do you pronounce 50 Cent’s name?” (“Fiddy?” “Fifty?” No one seems to know.)
Zero Bark Thirty
“What many don’t know is that Seal Team Six also included a Belgian Malinois dog named Cairo. Like many veterans of war, Cairo returned home having completed his mission, but with something missing.” Famed improve group Second City deep-dives into the troubled fate of (fictional) doggie SEAL veterans when they arrive home in “Unleashed: Into the Real World.”
Capture the Flag
Those controversial Zero Dark Thirty torture scenes? They’re Care-Bears-tame compared to what goes down in Capture the Flag.
Humpty Dumpty: Terrorist Hunter
It’s the greatest egghunt in history. And Humpty Dumpty is leading it. “He’s hard. He’s as hard as he comes,” one CIA agent warns. “I know he’s hard, but will he crack?” He’ll stop at nothing to catch bin Laden, and neither will his pun-happy supervisors. “This isn’t some fairy tale.” “Do you think there’s some egg in another basket?” “This is it, and it stinks. It’s rotten!”
It’s the Zero Dark Thirty trailer many on the right probably wish you’d seen. In place of the glowing reviews from The New York Times and Variety that break up the preview footage are scathing takedowns of the film’s so-called political agenda. “Zero conscience in Zero Dark Thirty,” reads one title card. “Zero Dark Thirty is Osama bin Laden’s last victory over America,” reads another. The kicker: “Grossly inaccurate,” attributed to Senators Feinstein, Levin, and McCain.