Donald Trump rang in his 80th birthday with a live UFC cage fight held on the White House lawn. But the spectacle wasn’t enough to keep the octogenarian president awake, Jimmy Kimmel pointed out on Monday night.
“Trump also brought his little black-and-blue hand, topped off with a layer of undertaker spackle. The fighters at UFC do not get bruises on their hands like this, and they are hitting each other,” the Trump nemesis began, displaying a photograph of the president’s multi-colored hand seemingly slathered in makeup.
“But rest assured, his ankles were swelling with pride,” the late-night host quipped. “This was the flag-waving patriotic 80th birthday he’s been planning for a year now… and it was so much fun, it was so exciting, he almost stayed awake through the whole thing.”
The show then cut to footage of the president appearing to doze off next to UFC boss and Trump bestie Dana White.
“Until it was time to take a little UF-Siesta,” said Kimmel. “So sweet… he’s like an angel when he sleeps. You know my niece had a birthday on Sunday, too. She turned five years old. We took her to Disneyland; she also crashed out from the excitement…”
“That walk from the door to his chair really must have taken it out of him because… Only Donald Trump could fall asleep at a birthday party sponsored by Monster Energy Drink,” Kimmel continued.
“Maybe he accidentally drank a Monster PM?” he said to raucous applause from his audience.
“Now, to be fair, we don’t know for sure that he was asleep,” Kimmel admitted. “He could have just been sitting completely motionless with his eyes closed for an extended period of time.”
Trump’s reported nap comes a week after the president was caught resting his eyes at the NBA Finals in Madison Square Garden.
“But this is why most 80th birthday parties happen at noon,” Kimmel mocked.
Trump’s $60 million birthday bonanza was mired in controversy, with a fighter publicly expressing a vile slur against former first lady Michelle Obama; MAGA comedians making surprise appearances and angering fans; and a series of other chaotic moments.
