Rapper Lil Poopy’s Dad Probed

Fear not, Lil Poopy, haters are going to hate. Unless, as his music videos show, the 9-year-old rapper really is a cocaine cowboy, flaunting machine guns and slapping groupie behinds. Poopy’s father is being probed for child neglect after authorities caught wind of the little guy’s music video antics. “He’s just singing hooks,” the father said, adding that Poopy lives with his mother and goes to school every day. Poopy, we should note, is in French Montana’s Coke Boyz posse and has guest starred in a video with Diddy. So he’s legit. As the investigation goes on, we’d like to offer Poopy some advice (inspired by his lyrics): keep riding in the backseat, young man, because that is what bosses do.