Earlier this week, Texas Senate hopeful James Talarico had his interview on Stephen Colbert’s late-night talk show on CBS yanked due to concerns it could violate the Federal Communications Commission’s “equal time” rule.
But while the FCC rule—a de facto mandate that if a broadcaster gives one candidate airtime they have to offer the same to that candidate’s opponents—is an anti-free speech monstrosity that freedom-loving Americans should loathe, we should at least thank it for one thing: Killing what was overwhelmingly likely to be yet another not-very-funny appearance by a candidate that, yes, the left really likes, but who, at the end of the day, is a politician, not someone who actually earns his money (or even his social media views) by making people laugh.
Or at least not that way, I should say. Plenty of right-wingers I know consider Talarico a jokester for trying to pass as a Texas-acceptable moderate when he’s made a variety of comments that look entirely in keeping with Kamala Harris’ philosophy. Texas wasn’t Harris country in the last presidential election—nor has it voted for a Democratic presidential nominee at any time since 1976; even if the state’s Republicans nominate Attorney General Ken Paxton as their candidate and Talarico makes it a race to watch, none of this equates to making anyone want to tune in the way they would for a Dave Chapelle special, Saturday Night Live, or certainly Colbert back in his used-to-be-way-funnier heyday.
The cold, hard truth is that while the political establishment and diehard partisans want their rising stars (and shining stars) on comedy shows—because, let’s be honest, they reach more people than a daytime cable news segment, and more low-information voters than a prime-time cable news segment—Americans just don’t need this kind of content. They don’t want it, either. Especially right smack in the middle of the variety of national and global crises we’re seeing right now. Everyone needs a laugh. No one needs an interview with someone overwhelmingly likely to spout off political platitudes or (worse) wonky policy ideas. If we want that, there are policy-focused podcasts out there, Substack publications, countless social media feed and, yes, the aforementioned cable news interviews.
Harking back to 2008, I guess what I’m saying is, “can’t I just have my chuckle?”
To be fair, some politicians are funny. As someone who worked for John McCain, I’ll attest that I thought his SNL rendition of Barbra Streisand songs was indeed laugh-out-loud funny. When Tim Pawlenty (another candidate I briefly worked for) went on the Daily Show and talked about Sarah Palin having a “big schtick,” it was funny. (At least 25% of the US electorate will always find anything that sounds remotely like a dick joke funny.) Obviously, another Minnesota politician was genuinely, “yes I will absolutely tune in” funny—Al Franken. And his colleague Amy Klobuchar was once the subject of a write-up about how she was the “funny senator.” I actually think Donald Trump is pretty funny—though sometimes unintentionally.
But Barack Obama’s slow-jamming the news on Fallon didn’t land for me. Joe Biden found 2012 GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan funny, but much as I love him, I can’t say I’ve ever thought “that guy should do stand up.” Democrats, too often these days, simply come across as either humorless scolds or too earnest to do jokes—so too do many Republicans like, say, Josh Hawley. Or consider how J.D. Vance comes across as too much of a podcast edgelord to a punchline work, though it’s nice he can laugh at the fat Vance memes.
Can we all imagine how much of a humor desert we’ll face in 2028? Gavin Newsom will do questionable impersonations of Donald Trump, but he’s never going to best James Austin Johnson or Alec Baldwin—or the Scottish comedian Lewis McLeod, who recently has taken to impersonating the current Commander-in-Chief. (For the record, I am not suggesting Baldwin run for President).
And the other top contenders? Again, Harris—only unintentionally amusing in a sort of “is she high” kind of way. Pete Buttigieg? Probably has a few jokes that would make McKinsey consultants or those of us who speak ten languages (I tap out at four) laugh. AOC? You’re already contemplating day drinking, right?
Here’s a policy platform all these people should commit to: Stay the hell off comedy shows.
Yes, if I were your political consultant, I would desperately want you to do them for the exposure they offer, and in the faint hope you’ll connect with people outside the D.C. bubble. But really, find some other way of doing that. Do not cry over the hot wings. Go to NASCAR. Buy your Beyoncé endorsement and actually get her to perform. Something. Whatever.
But stop trying to ruin what little fun remains in a world where your 401k might fall off a cliffif someone doesn’t grab the president’s phone just in time, or with a frontrunner for the 2028 Democratic presidential nomination scaring Europeans by showing a Palin-like grasp of Latin American geography.
No joke. Really.
