ALL HAIL

The Queen of Fat Bear Week 2023 Has Been Crowned

The bodacious winner, 128 Grazer, is “thicker than a bowl of oatmeal,” according to wildlife officials.

A bootylicious mama bear known as 128 “Grazer” has emerged the winner of the 2023 Fat Bear Week, outstripping her nearest competition, a “Mondo mountain of a male,” by more than 85,000 votes to join the “Hall of Chompions.” Grazer’s victory over 32 “Chunk” was announced Tuesday by Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Preserve. “The gutsy girl grounded the guy with a gut,” the park said in a social media post, calling her the “bear with the biggest beardonkadonk” and “thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” The impressively well-padded lady outstripped her competition—seven other bears—to become the third female bear, or sow, to win the coveted competition since it began in 2014. In her parks biography, Grazer was hailed as a warrior mom and an expert fisherwoman. A “particularly defensive” single female, Grazer has reared two litters of cubs while preemptively confronting and attacking “much larger bears—even large and dominant adult males” to ensure her cubs’ safety. “I think girl power won out,” a naturalist observed to The Washington Post.