TOO SWEET

Biden Pardons Two Turkeys Named After His Favorite Ice Cream Flavor

“The only red wave this season’s gonna be if German Shepherd Commander knocks over the cranberry sauce on our table,” he said.

President Joe Biden declared free a pretty sweet pair of turkeys—Chocolate and Chip—ahead of Thanksgiving on Monday. Continuing the 75-year-long tradition, Biden pardoned the almost-50 pound birds named after his favorite ice cream flavor in front of hundreds on the South Lawn while he tossed up puns about Democrats’ unexpected midterms performance. “The votes are in, they’ve been counted and verified,” Biden said. “There’s no ballot stuffing. There’s no fowl play. The only red wave this season’s gonna be if German Shepherd Commander,” he said in reference to his dog, “knocks over the cranberry sauce on our table.” The turkeys will live the remainder of their lives on North Carolina State University’s campus, according to the Associated Press. Biden ended the event by encouraging people to get vaccinated against COVID-19 for the holidays. “This is a special time in the greatest nation on Earth so let’s be thankful,” Biden added.